Cliffordfield
by DannyWapBang
Summary: A parody of the MAD sketch "Cliffordfield" with characters from Cartoon Network and DC Comics. When Zan and Jayna's going away party is interrupted by a humungous red dog, can TOM and his friends find a way to stay alive?


(THE FOLLOWING FOOTAGE PARODIES THE MOVIE CLOVERFIELD.

IF YOU DIDN'T SEE IT, YOU DIDN'T MISS MUCH.

OF COURSE, THIS WON'T BE VERY GOOD EITHER._)

_Click!_

At the sound of the shutter, everybody shouted in unison as their friends walked in the room: "Surprise!"

The Wonder Twins were going away on vacation, and all their friends decided to get together and hold a party to celebrate their upcoming journey. TOM, who was holding his camera and capturing everything on videotape, began his opening speech.

"Hey Zan and Jayna, it's me, TOM," he said, addressing the twins. He intended for Sara, his AI companion, to step into the frame and introduce herself; however, a partly mechanized African-American male interrupted the shot instead.

"And Cyborg!" he said, in his usual loud and boisterous fashion.

"Hey, that's my part," said Sara. Cyborg gave the sapphire feminine figure a playful slap on the shoulder.

The teen titan continued, "I just wanna join everyone here in wishing you…"

From the partygoers erupted a cheer of "BON VOYAGE!"

TOM continued narrating the tape. "All your friends are here. Plus we invited you-know-who, because his girlfriend dumped him." He panned over to Kermit the Frog, who was sitting distraught at the refreshments table, accompanied by his son, Joel.

Noticing the waiter was holding a plate of bacon strips, Kermit burst into tears at the memory of his would-be wife, Miss Piggy, dumping him for another man.

"Why?! Why would you serve BACON at a time like this?" he cried, knocking over the plate.

"Dad, it's gonna be okay," Joel said. As he continued to try and console Kermit, the green frog became suspicious about the tape TOM was using to record his video; he had recently recorded a videotape, himself, to submit to _American Idol _in hopes of being chosen for the show.

He turned to TOM and the gang and asked, "Hey, you're not taping over my American Idol audition tape, are you?"

"Of course not!" said Cyborg. "What do you think I am, stupid?"

Returning to the subject at hand, TOM walked the camera over to the dichromatic-pigtailed Harley Quinn, who proceeded to bid her farewells to Zan and Jayna.

"Good luck guys; I just wanted to say that you're the—" Before she could say "best," she was cut off by a loud rumble coming from outside. "That wasn't me," she joked. At that moment, her stomach began to rumble for real. "OK, that was me," she said sheepishly, before running to the refreshment table for some nachos.

The rest of the gang, however, were obviously concerned about the mysterious noise they just heard, and decided to investigate its origin. They almost immediately got an answer. TOM noticed something strange moving in the streets from the window, and ran over, the others on his trail.

"Look! Out the window," he said, pointing to the unusual sight. It was a monster, resembling a humongous red dog, which lowered its head from the skies to ground level and delivered a deafening roar.

The entire group screamed in horror. In minutes, New York City would probably be destroyed; practically everyone and everything they loved and held near would die. For this last hour of their lives, the friends vowed to stay together.

* * *

Carrying his camera, TOM led his friends out the front door to witness the weird creature. The robot filmed a long, panning shot across the NYC skyline, as fire burned and police lights flickered. Screams echoed from both nearby and far away. Through the few words they could make out of the clamor amongst denizens of citizens, the group assumed the name of the monster: "Clifford."

Green Lantern pondered the possibility of defeating the monster and putting an end to the commotion. But he first decided to ask a few questions about the situation.

"What's going on?" he said, throwing his hands out, befuddled at the reason why the gigantic threat looked like a dog.

Observing what the so-called "Clifford" was doing, Cyborg surmised that the canine was benign; what it thought was "playtime" just had destructive tendencies due to its massive scale.

"Clifford thinks everyone wants to play!" the black hero told his teammate.

Another ear-splitting scream rang out from afar as Clifford continued its rampage down the street, assumably stepping on a civilian. Then, suddenly, the enormous monster produced a tennis ball almost half its size. As if it was in a reverse game of fetch, it threw the ball across, sending crowds of people screaming in a panic out of the way. The ball took off the side of a skyscraper with a loud crash, then hurtled downwards, knocking TOM's camera out of his hands and onto the sidewalk. TOM ran to get his camera and was surprised to see it was still running. That's when Cyborg cried out.

"Oh, no!" said Cyborg, the huge tennis ball having landed right on partygoer Dee Dee. The blonde girl was almost lifeless, having been knocked unconscious by the impact. "Dee Dee, not you!" Cyborg turned to address Dee Dee's younger brother, Dexter, who was on the scene and had witnessed the entire ordeal. "Dexter, Dee Dee got splattered by a giant dog toy!"

As Dee Dee regained consciousness, she noticed her hair had been covered in slobber from the dog toy previously being in Clifford's mouth. This revelation intensely grossed her out; any person in the same situation would agree.

"Oh, no! My hair!" she yelled. "Why? Why-hy-hy-hy-hy-hy-hy-hy?!"

* * *

Zan was wondering about the predicament the city was in: just why was it being attacked by a big, red dog - big enough to topple buildings over?

"How'd Clifford get so big?" he asked.

Luckily, his sister Jayna had the answer to his question: a mysterious book that detailed Clifford's life and origin. She began to read from this book aloud to the group.

"It says he got that way from a lot of love," she said.

"Aww!" everybody said. Jayna turned the page.

"And a lot of nuclear waste," she continued.

"Eww!" everybody shouted.

The group suddenly heard a loud roar in the distance. Immediately, they looked in the direction it was coming from, to see a billboard reading _Marmaduke: Biggest, Dumbest, Funnest, Fummest! _Just then, Clifford's head smashed through the board, sending bits of polyvinyl raining down on the city streets.

"Look out, Zan!" said Ed.

Too little, too late, as Zan could only watch a piece of the billboard plummet 50 feet downwards and crush him. Everyone was shocked at what happened to one of the guests of honor. Everyone except for Jayna, that is.

"Yes!" she said, pumping her fist in the air. "Maybe now I can strike out on my own!" Noticing her friends were watching her, she quickly changed her attitude. "Uh… I mean… poor Zan!" One could hear the sarcasm in her voice, as if she was pretending to cry and really valued her popularity over her brother.

* * *

TOM was holding an injured pedestrian. The victim's identity was Ray Randall, also known as Birdman. His wings and clothes were tattered; he was bruised all over his face and body. The most interesting thing about the situation was that he kept scratching himself repeatedly, as if he was itchy. He struggled to keep his eyes open, relying on TOM to keep him safe.

Cyborg and another member of the group, Kwame, spotted the two and ran over to where they were.

"TOM, what happened?" he said.

"Something came off Clifford and attacked Birdman!" TOM replied.

TOM, Cyborg, Kwame, and the beaten-up Birdman turned to their left to see Clifford scratch itself; from its paw dropped three humongous fleas. They were bearing their fangs, ready to suck some blood out of whoever crossed their path.

"Oh, no! Giant fleas!" shouted Kwame.

TOM ran for his life, the fleas chasing him. Cyborg and Kwame decided to hightail it. Suddenly, they heard a voice shouting "GREAT LIGHTNING!"

The voice belonged to a leotard-wearing superhero, Black Vulcan, who looked a bit like Cyborg, minus the cybernetics. He, too, was running from the giant fleas.

TOM fortunately escaped the fleas' line of sight. However, Cyborg, Kwame, and Black Vulcan weren't so lucky. They got knocked to the ground, trampled and bitten by the fleas.

An itch trickled across their skin. It became apparent why Birdman was scratching himself, as Black Vulcan looked down at his legs to see dozens upon dozens of flea bites on them. They were red and tender, with a halo around each. Black Vulcan mercilessly scratched his legs and face, Cyborg doing the same to his face. Kwame scratched around his arms, as he unfortunately had his sleeves rolled up. Cyborg even turned over and rubbed his face against the concrete in order to gain relief. His face stung like hell afterwards, but it was worth cancelling out the irritation of the bites.

"Great Lightning… I can't take this anymore!" said poor Black Vulcan.

"Me neither," Cyborg said.

"Someone call 911!" cried Kwame. But there was no one around to do so for them. The three couldn't even get up off the ground, they were so itchy; they could only struggle to.

* * *

Meanwhile, a tall man was walking through a back alley of the city. He had dark skin and was wearing a brown trench coat. He'd known previously that the city was in some kind of trouble, which is why he came to investigate. He started out in the lesser populated areas, which would have enough people to give him the scoop on what was happening.

"I hear screaming from afar. I wonder what's going on out there," he said to himself.

As he continued down the road, making his way to where the commotion was occurring, he spotted something from the corner of his eye. It was a small dog with pink fur sporting three black spots; its ears and nose were brown. It obviously had heard everything that was going on, because it was shivering and whimpering. The man approached the dog, intending to return it to its owner… if they were okay.

As the man drew closer, the dog jumped up and uttered a short, startled scream.

"Who's that?" it asked.

"A talking dog?" the man said, confused. "That's something you don't see every day." A brief pause, then "What's your name?"

"I'm Courage," said the dog. "How about you?"

The man stretched his hand out so that his palm was facing toward the dog, and concentrated. He began a metamorphosis into an otherworldly creature, implying that the human appearance was just a disguise. His trench coat disappeared as his features faded away, to be replaced by alien ones. Soon, what was once a 6 foot tall black man was now an orangish red holographic demon, with yellow eyes and a thin waist, levitating a few inches above the pavement.

"I am Swayzak," the figure said.

Courage's pupils shrunk at the sight of Swayzak. Who was this menacing character? Was he going to kill him?

"Don't worry," Swayzak reassured. "I simply want to know about the current situation New York City's in."

"Well, a while ago, I did see a big red dog causing chaos in Manhattan," Courage said.

"Perfect. Let's go find your owner and notify them about this."

Swayzak scooped up Courage in his arms and made him comfortable. The pair were off to Manhattan to find Courage's owner.

When Swayzak and Courage arrived in Manhattan, they were shocked. Courage was right. There was a big red dog, Clifford, causing chaos. Swayzak couldn't believe the size of it. Compared to Courage, the threat was a behemoth! Swayzak's immediate thought was to call the army and tell them about what he was witnessing. So he summoned a cell phone from thin air and dialed the army's number.

"Yes, hello? This is Swayzak. I'd like to inform you of a giant dog with red fur wreaking havoc on Manhattan. You'll come? Thanks." He hung up the phone.

A newly-healed Kwame, whose flea bites had been bandaged by Sara, and Ed were standing next to Swayzak, and had overheard his entire phone call. Swayzak eventually noticed the two.

"The army is on its way," he said.

"What do you mean on its way?" a voice said behind them. Swayzak whirled around to see a diminutive man with a red mustache in a soldier outfit.

_Oh, no… not General Crewe…_ thought Swayzak to himself. General Crewe had assumedly been dropped on his head in his youth. He was so dimwitted, nobody could believe he was allowed to be a general in the army.

"We've been here for half an hour," General Crewe said. Obviously this was false, as he was the only one there. "Word is you got a big dog ar…" He noticed Courage in Swayzak's arms and screamed, thinking he was what everyone was talking about. "Look at the size of it!" He screamed again.

Swayzak couldn't believe how dumb General Crewe was. He actually mistook a normal-sized dog for the hellhound roaming the streets?

"That's just Courage," Swayzak said. He and General Crewe looked up to see the real monster amid the buildings, staring back at them. "That's the big red dog."

Both couldn't believe what happened next. Clifford started to drool on them. Swayzak thought this was the grossest thing ever.

"Eww!" he yelled, and hovered away from Clifford, Courage still in his arms. He left General Crewe behind, though. He deserved this as punishment for how stupid he was.

* * *

Cyborg, TOM, and Sara were warning everybody about Clifford. This included people of all ages. One family in particular, the Utonium family, were in hysterics once they heard about the raging canine.

Bubbles and Blossom, the youngest and middle daughters respectively, were screaming non-stop and running in circles. They knew their time was up, that they were going to die soon.

"Please! Nobody panic!" said Cyborg, in an effort to console them.

"Who's panicking?" Blossom said. "This is just how we run!" She continued screaming.

"Don't let him get me!" said Buttercup, the eldest daughter. "I'm a one of a kind superhero." Considering she'd saved the world multiple times and was only in kindergarten, one had to admit she was right.

All of a sudden, Clifford's paw came down from the sky and smashed her. She was barely conscious after the impact; she had been flattened like a cartoon character.

"…okay, I see your point," she mumbled.

"Should we help her?" asked Sara.

"Yeah, get her to a doctor, immediately!" TOM said.

On another side of town, Grim, the self-proclaimed god of death, ironically attempted to escape his impending fate.

"Uh-oh, I'm getting out of here," he said. As he prepared to fly away, he lifted his black cloak to reveal he had shapely legs. Everybody watching him gasped.

"What?" he asked. "It's from my mother's side."

* * *

TOM and the rest of the group, now including Swayzak, met at the Statue of Liberty, to discuss ways to get rid of Clifford harmlessly.

"Quick. We gotta get him away from everyone," Cyborg said.

"I agree," said TOM. "I don't want him doing anything to Miss Liberty over here. I wonder if the army's arrived already?"

"Maybe Clifford stepped on them!" Dee Dee said. "What are we gonna do?"

At that moment, a helicopter flew by, covering Lady Liberty with a sheet that had a fire hydrant printed on it.

Green Lantern said, "Maybe that'll help."

"It will not," said Swayzak. "Do you even know what dogs do around fire hydrants?"

Swayzak was right, as when Clifford approached the covered statue, his eyes widened and he barked joyously. What happened next shall rightfully not be described.

The group yelled out "Ewwww! No!" and variations of it, most of them covering their eyes to avoid seeing the disgusting sight.

"I think I'm gonna throw up," said Harley Quinn.

"Me too," replied Ed.

* * *

_Time skip_

It had been 7 hours since Clifford went on his rampage through the city. Nobody had known where he came from, nobody knew where he went. All they knew is that it took a toll on New York City. Buildings were reduced to rubble, signs had gone into disrepair. Everybody was still scared from the experience. They had never seen anything like it before, and probably weren't going to ever again. And to his group's surprise, TOM had it all captured on video. What initially started as a video for Zan and Jayna's farewell party had turned into a document of one of the most unexpected attacks New York had ever faced.

Cyborg was holding the camera now. He turned it to face himself and began a monologue.

"Approximately 7 hours ago, Clifford the Big Red Dog appeared in Manhattan. This tape might be the only evidence."

_BZZT_

"If you like it, then you shoulda put some green on it! Oh ho ho, oh ho ho!"


End file.
